Modern Mamahood: Toddlers Play Hard on Playscapes

With my active, stimulation-needy toddler (because she's brilliant of course)...I'm always on the hunt for something that will truly captivate her for as long as possible. That's why I came to a screeching halt while driving past a yard sale one day where I saw an indoor "playscape" similar to the one pictured above.

Yes it takes up a bit of space, but it is completely worth it. We brought this into our home when my daughter Regina Jade was about 12mo old and at that point she mostly got her kicks out of simply standing on the lower pieces and the way the foam felt squishing under her feet. The individual pieces can be interlocked together (via velcro or other fasteners) for all kinds of combos.

Now that RJ is nearly 17mo, she plays with the foam fortress in different ways, which I love seeing. She's climbing up and down the wedge part and stepping on and off the rectangular blocks and enjoys sliding her stuffed animals down the wedge. The tunnel part is a ton of fun for her on its own; she flips it around from a tunnel position, to it's side to be a little secluded "chair", and upside down where she jumps and walks around in her mini half-pipe.

RJ gettin' her play on

Needless to say she expends a large amount of energy on this thing and she's honing her motor skills. And a bonus for us mamas, she'll go at it for a pretty long amount of time (we're talkin' over 20min here!). I also like the fact that the "playscape" is very similar to the one at the child center she goes to while mommy and daddy hit the gym. They bring theirs out frequently for the youngins and I'm sure it's made her feel a lot more confident taking her turn.

You can find the item featured at the top HERE, but keep your eye yard sales because finding this thing for $5 like I did is a major score.

From Amazon's product description: Constructed of dense foam covered in durable, heavy duty cloth-backed, wipe-clean vinyl.

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: The Book That Saved My Pregnancy

Jennifer Louden has authored several books for women. In all of these books, she uses creative, self-evaluating exercises and assignments to reveal how we can master common challenges that are a natural part of womanhood.

When I was pregnant, I picked up Louden's "The Pregnant Woman's Comfort Book: Self Nurturing Guide to Emotional Well-Being During Pregnancy and Early Motherhood". I looked through the book when it arrived in the mail and thought it seemed pretty cool, something different.

It wasn't until I was in the thick of pregnancy, when my hormones went wilder than Lohan, that I was able to put this book to use. I loved that it has a 2-page spread matrix in the middle of the book. You read down the list of emotions on the chart, find what you are experiencing at the moment, and then look at the various chapters of the book that deal with sorting through those feelings.

Chapters that helped me most are How to Gracefully Ask For and Accept Support, Ambivalence: Grieving Changes, Fear and of course...Work. Each chapter was brief but included enough anecdotal and factual information to allow the pregnant reader to feel connected with and that help was on its way. The next few pages of each chapter are filled creative activities such as free writes, drawing, meditations, affirmations and action items.

One chapter in particular saved my pregnancy. It's entitled simply: Surrender. I was having a really hard time confronting the fact that I had zero control over many of the things that could happen during pregnancy and childbirth to myself and to my child. From small things like body changes to big things like stillbirth, I was a mess when it came to surrendering control of my destiny in this situation.

Me at 37 Weeks...woah.

Louden's solution was for me to learn to sink into submission and explore what it meant to me and the larger meaning of why I was called to surrender right now. After an awesome free write, an assignment that had me draw/paint/color five different representations of what surrendering meant to me, and a heavy affirmation, I came out on the other side with a deeper connection to why I must surrender to nature and how to feel okay about it. Can't thank this woman enough for allowing me to actually enjoy that beautiful place of surrender aka my pregnancy.

Other titles by Louden using a similar approach that many LL's would probably devour include:

• The Life Organizer: A Woman's Guide to a Mindful Year
• Woman's Comfort Book: A Self-Nurturing Guide for Restoring Balance in Your Life
• The Woman's Retreat Book: A Guide to Restoring, Rediscovering and Revitalizing Your True Self -- in a Moment, an Hour, or a Weekend
• Comfort Secrets for Busy Women: Finding Your Way When Your Life is Overflowing

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: Behind the Mama - Part 2: Marissa Spano

Although many mothers best describe their role and day-to-day as "indescribable", Ladies Lotto Modern Mamahood is seeking to demystify what that means for different moms in an effort to create even more cohesion, compassion and connection within our LL community and beyond.

The Modern Mamahood "Behind the Mama" series will delve into the lives of our LLady moms. We're looking for answers to some of the questions many women without children seem to have and create even more community amongst us fruit-bearers.

In Part 2, I am going to share a great conversation with Ladies Lotto's very own media and branding master, Mayor Marissa Spano who has a sparkling 22-month old daughter, Isabella (both beauties are in the photo above). Listen in!

LLMM: Tell me about your offspring and how everything has been going as a mama?
Marissa: Isabella Skye dominates my world and I couldn't be happier with my chosen role. Watching her spirit grow and observing her as she chooses traits and moods is so inspiring. As a mother, I float in and out of thoughts from my own youth and faded memories of my mom who I lost at 15, so it's been a really spiritual journey...and my hardest job yet!

LLMM: Hardest job yet? I hear ya! What sticks out to you as being challenging about the role?
Marissa: The biggest challenge is balancing. It's creating a harmony between all the "hats" you wear and centering each moment around integrity, whether it's business or personal. The mommy hat is by far the most important to me so naturally, for other items to be of interest, they have to be truly special.

LLMM: And what other interests, professionally, do you spend your time on? Do they work well with the kind of fam-life you are wanting?
Marissa: Most of the work I do now consists of creating Brand Campaigns for companies. We work on interactive and multi-sensory campaigns which heavily rely on my creative input. Being on the computer 15hrs a day working on proposals has a down side. I am re-incorporating daily sun salutations and meditation which will only propel my personal success. I definitely feel like things are organically falling into place. I am literally growing with my daughter.

LLMM: That's amazing! It sounds like you are constantly striving for and achieving balance. How much would you say your lifestyle has changed since you entered motherhood (or pregnancy)?
Marissa: It definitely started at pregnancy! I have had to exist with less sleep and be more mindful of my body than ever before. My lifestyle has definitely taken a 180 degree turn! In my younger years, I was out each night at parties. Now, I am lucky if I get a babysitter for the International Emmy's this year. Even when I do go out now, part of me stays home with Bella! It's a challenge to ever be present when I am not around her...it's like you're always preoccupied with your child's well-being.

Peak-a-boo, Isabella!

LLMM: Do you ever have feelings of guilt turning down various functions, events or meetings?
Marissa: Hmmm, "guilt", no. The time I spend at home if not out is in our media room. It's all about knowing what's going on in the digital and TV worlds, so I invest myself into research when missing out on the fun stuff, well...researching is actually fun for me.

LLMM: Do you have any advice for women without children who are searching for the perfect time to have them?
Marissa: I think it's always the perfect time to have children because most women will never voluntarily say "this is the perfect time". It's the perfect time when they come...when they just kinda show up. Or if you want to get stoic about it...the perfect time is when you've reached a satisfying level in your career where you can pick back up in a couple of years, or maintain both from the get-go. It's also more importantly about finding the right partner to RAISE a child with, not just someone who you love.

LLMM: Okay last question! What are you and Isabella's top three favorite activities?
Marissa: 1.) Down Dog, 2.) Art, specifically drawing Elmo, 3.) Singing, she's mastered "Happy Bday" as of yesterday which was her daddy's bday.

More Marissa:
Marissa's other baby: www.soulspeekermedia.com
Follow and track on Twitter: www.twitter.com/soulmedia
Say 'what's up' on FB: www.facebook.com/soulspeekermedia
Email: getloudwithus@gmail.com

Also, check out Part 1 of "Behind the Mama" where I interview LL'a Melody Gross, mother of 2yr old Kamel and full-time Communications + Marketing Associate!

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: Eat Like a Baby!

With so many books and "experts" out there telling us the newest craze toward achieving nutritional perfection, it can be hard to navigate through it all. I would know because it took 15 months after Regina Jade was born to lose the 50lb of baby-weight that I packed on thanks to cravings like red velvet cupcakes and McFlurries!

Anyway, when it comes to finding reliable nutritional standards, I've realized we needn't look much further than the nutritional guidelines for feeding a baby. Their pure little bodies require and deserve only the best, so looking at what and how they are eating clues us into the direction we should be headed...all crazes, gimmicks, latest research and b.s. aside.

Fruits + Veggies:
How Baby Eats - All baby first-foods are pureed vegetables and fruit.
What We Learn - Eat a bunch of fruits and vegetables, their maxed out nutrients ward off disease and keep the scale low.

Eat When Hungry:
How Baby Eats - If a baby isn't very hungry, they don't eat a lot. It's that simple. Some days they will grub down, other days they don't seem to want anything.
What We Learn - Start listening to your body and respond to its real needs; if you're not super hungry for dinner one day, then don't eat a ton.

No Crappy Food:
How Baby Eats - No one in their right mind would give a baby things like pepperoni, soda, pixi stix, easy-cheese, gummy worms or Doritos. That's because they are loaded with processed food grossness and toxic ingredients.
What We Learn - Avoid eating processed foods whenever possible. The research that has come out about all the disguised toxins packed into ingredient lists and the dangerous yet ever-present high-fructose corn-syrup, is staggering and disgusting.

So there you have it, eat like a baby and you should be on your way to supreme health. It's basically the nutritional plan I've been dedicated to in a nutshell and I think it holds a lot of weight. I wouldn't go as far as saying I've ever sat down with a jar of babyfood, but I'll admit I've been known to snack on Cheerios.

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: The Puppy-Stage of Toddlerhood

As my wee one, Regina Jade enters toddlerhood, she's basically turned into a puppy. I'm not sure how long the puppy stage will last, but I think there should be a chapter about the puppy stage in most child-rearing educational books.

Knowing whether or not your child is like a puppy might give parents insight into how to care for and entertain their little one. I've broken down the characteristic similarities between my child and a puppy, in a very scientific way, for you to measure puppy-ness in your own tot.

Cuteness - Like a puppy, she is super cute...people squeal when they see her and would pet her if I'd let them.

Going Outside - RJ always wants to go outside. If she gets the idea herself she'll stand at the door and indicate she wants to go out. If someone mentions going outside, she gets super excited and runs to the door to be let out.

Marking Territory - While puppies mark their territory with pee, RJ marks hers in her own way. As she bops along in a new environment, she touches nearly every single thing on her path.

Scrounging for Food - Puppies are notorious for begging for food or standing around waiting until someone throws them a frickin' bone here. RJ does the exact same thing when others are eating in front of her.

Whining - RJ's whines when she doesn't know a word for something, or just doesn't feel like using a word, and it sounds a lot like a puppy's whine: "eh, eh, eh, eh?"

Sleeping Well - After nearly a year of not "sleeping like a baby" through the night, RJ finally has this one down and sleeps like a pro, much like a worn out puppy.

Playful - It's no surprise that toddlers and puppies are both playful, they want to play play play, 80% of the time.

Untrained - Like a puppy, RJ hasn't yet learned how to pee in a more socially acceptable place. She is also not capable of walking alongside her "owner" for long. Both advancements will take dedicated training.

Loves Balls and Parks - Puppies and RJ love playing with balls...fetch is one of their favorites. She also loves parks, just like puppies.

Acting Like a Puppy - One of RJ's favorite animals is the puppy, and she's learned how to take on the characteristics of a puppy by barking and panting. When she does this, its become extremely hard to tell the difference.

What should you do if you feel your child might actually be a puppy, or really close to one? Simple: give her cuddles, food, guidance, understanding and let him or her run wild as often as possible. I personally am not a fan of the child-leash, but in extreme cases of child puppydom...I have come to understand their place.

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: The BabyBook-umentary

RJ naming body parts during our BabyBook-umentary

Like many other mamas...especially Modern Mamas, I seek out tech-savvy, convenient, yet creative ways to do all kinds of things. Lately, I've been having a hard time making the time to update my child's baby book (which is sad), but by the time I looked at the book we have, I noticed that after the age of 1yrs old, it just jumps to 2yrs old like nothing notable happens between 1 and 2yrs old.

With my daughter being 15.5mo, so much change has occurred recently, I wanted to document it, but didn't feel like writing it down. With such easy access to grabbing video footage these days, I decided we'd do a "BabyBook-umentary" instead (I think this is something I made up). My husband and I had a lot of fun doing this and I'm positive that when our little family looks back at this years or decades later, it will be epic.

Create your own BabyBook-umentary:

Time to complete: 10 minutes
Difficulty level: Super duper easy

Things you'll need:
Slips of paper, a pen or maker, a way to capture video

How to:
1. Cut paper into squares.
2. On each piece of paper, write topics you will talk about such as: bath-time, favorite shows, what he/she does all day, etc.
3. Shuffle the pieces or put them into a "hat".
4. You can choose to do this with or without your child, although with is probably more fun, so grab that cutie of yours.
5. Start recording and tell your future self and your future child what you are going to be doing in this video or maybe prepare something to create a special intro.
6. Pull out each piece of paper one by one and talk about each subject. Whether you want to mention a few things about the topic, or tell a story, or get even more creative is up to you.
7. Conclude
8. If you have the means to do some simple or more extreme editing to make it fancy you could add a title page or funny phrases throughout the Babybook-umentary.

Having fun while recording!

We had a lot of fun doing this. My little tot, RJ spent most of the time watching herself do funny things on the screen as we were recording (we used the Photobooth recording feature on my MacBook Pro laptop). We covered five different topics and it took about six minutes on camera.

For those mamas with the tech-itch, let us know if you end up creating your own BabyBook-umentary!

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: Stimulate

This past weekend was A3C Hip Hop Festival in Atlanta for me -- I run sponsorship for this annual event and we completely blew it out of the water this year. Really good times!

While I was there, one of the vendors I had in our merch area brought her 16-month old son along for the day. Her son was very chill and laid back and really doing absolutely nothing the entire time.

I know it's a matter of fact that males develop slower than females throughout their earlier years, and I am the last person to pass judgment, but this child seemed sadly under-stimulated. Here's a toddler who has learned to walk but is content just sitting on mommy's lap, not playing with anything, or doing anything (we talked long enough for me to know there weren't any other challenges this child was dealing with).

So this leads me to believe that like many other toddlers and babies I've witnessed, this child must be under-stimulated. Comparatively, my daughter who is the same age is such a wild little beast-baby, there's no way I'd be able to keep her contained at a vendor booth for 12-hours.

In thinking about this, I just wanted to remind parents to STIMULATE your growing, thriving children. I'm guessing that LL-mamas would naturally do this; we've got so much creativity and hunger to learn and explore within ourselves. But this is a message I took home with me and have begun improving on already.

If you need help thinking of new ways to engage your children, or if you have a friend or relative who does...start by thinking of all the ways you could help them learn about:

• Their senses: Music, new foods, textures, perfumes, books, conversation
  
• Their imagination: Make stuffed animals talk and move, make forts and tunnels out of your environment, use a banana phone
• Their world: Take them outside and let them get a feel for all the different elements of the earth and weather, let them see people of different sizes, colors and dress, take them to busy and also empty spaces
• People: Teach how to greet people and how to say good-bye, let them approach other little kids and adults under your supervision, remember they follow your lead so smiles go a long way toward a friendly child
• Motor skills: Show them how to run and roll around, give them safe places to climb and balance, let them try to do things even if they get frustrated

Point is, guide them on their journey of experiencing the world. As a new mom, I'm always intrigued by how often I have to demonstrate how to play with new toys before my daughter gets how to do it herself. Logically, we need to take the lead in so many other areas as well if we want a well-rounded, social, confident little cutie.

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: A Mother is Born!

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new."

- Rajneesh

As a follow up to my post last week, I just tripped over the quote above and it hit me in the right place (the soul) at the right time (when I should be working).

It's so beyond words how hard it is to explain the moment we become a mother and then each of the moments that follow as we grow into that role. I pondered so much while pregnant what being a mom would be like, I asked every mom I knew, and there is just no way to grasp the concept until you're right in the thick of it.

The most exciting part of this quote for me is the bit about finding something absolutely new that never existed. Speak on it! As a mother I'm patient, where as a woman only, I'm really not anything close to that.

What have you discovered within you that you had no idea existed until you became a mother? Embrace the fact that you have naturally created a version of yourself specifically for your little one(s) to depend on, grow from and love.

Now if I can just figure out how to get that patience to trickle over into the rest of my lifestyle...

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: Not Your Mom's Vision Board

My Mamahood Vision Board

I have a feeling that Ladies Lotto members are no strangers to "Law of Attraction" theory and the wildly popular "vision board" technique to manifest amazing people, experiences and things into our lives.

I've done a few vision boards in my life and they do indeed serve to not only focus my attention on goals, hopes and dreams, but I've also managed to manifest at least 75% of every board I've created.

Question -- have you ever thought of creating a vision board as motivation for being a more awesome mom?

I hadn't either. But right when I started my four weeks off of work before my due-date (had an over-the-top stressful 9-5 and just needed to stop), I decided to hit up a life coach who luckily had a small baby herself and fully understood where I was at in life at that moment.

I had more concerns than I thought which came out when I was talking to my coach. For example, was I going to be able to be present for my child and much more selfless than I was? I felt like I was so stressed and so busy with work that I practically missed the excitement and anticipation of my pregnancy and hadn't really connected with the fact that I was going to have a baby soon, despite practicing self-hypnosis for childbirth every single day for 30min.

My coach said my apprehensions were completely normal and suggested I create a vision board based around what kind of mother I want to be and what parenthood means to me. So I created a new board and included some great calming images, lots of elements from nature and phrases like "I am Powerful" and "My happiness is tied to how I feel about myself. I want my girls to see a mother who takes care of herself -Michelle Obama".

I looked at it every day in those next four weeks (which turned into five weeks ugh!), and it's always been in the main room I hang out in with my babygirl. Now days we look at the pictures together, which is always a sweet moment. I'm relieved to know that I've become the mother I'd envisioned -- cool, calm, (usually) focused and always present to her needs.

I highly recommend this exercise, and it's probably something I'll revisit again soon since vision boards work best when new ones are created every several months or so. Please share if you've had vision board success or you're intrigued by the idea of a specific mamahood vision board.

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: Discipline for Beginners

I've always felt that moms who are best at discipline are those who can make an impact with only a look or the tone of their voice. I can recall one booty-swat (for breaking mom's skin with nails down her back, age 2yrs), two slaps across the face (for being nonstop disrespectful age 7yrs-ish), but countless scary facial expressions and severely angry sounding instructions that were enough for me to behave.

It's so hard to think of having to use even a nasty tone with our sweet peas, but pushing limits is the way children grow and learn about how to be in society and within their family. It's our responsibility as their parent to show them these limits and also to harness a level of control that will be the foundation for getting through their crazy teenage years -- remember how many limits we pushed then?

My daughter, RJ, is now 14.5 months and has been testing her limits for awhile now; she's definitely no longer a "baby" but very much a toddler. She gets enraged with anger sometimes when she doesn't get her way and will swat and say "nah! nah!" for "no! no!", scream and be very dramatic. In order to avoid the kind of child that I see on Supernanny we've had to start disciplining.

How do you discipline before a child is ready for a time-out, or doesn't need one? Here are some tips:

1. The most effective discipline I've seen work firsthand is to tell your child not to do something. If they do it again, I say "If you do that again, I'm taking it away", and then they do it again and I take it away. Easy.
   
2. Try to save the word NO for really extreme or dangerous situations, (like throwing your cell phone in the toilet). For other instructions that don't put you, your child or an object in danger, teaching them to understand phrases like "Not in the mouth" or "That's mommy's", will work better for you all when you need to urgently get their attention with a stern, loud "NO!".
   
3. If your child has a bit of a temper like mine (must have skipped a generation!), it's important you let him or her express their anger. Tell them you understand that they are angry and it's okay to be upset. Let them vent a little, cry, scream, kick, etc, just like we need to do in our adult way.
4. Toddlers can understand so much more of what we say than what they can show us. Explain to your child that they can't or must do something, looking them directly in their eye at their level.
5. Don't go on and on trying to reason with your child; they understand you but don't go overboard. A simple sentence explanation is fine, and repeating the same thing more works too.
   
6. Once they modify their behavior, be sure to positively reinforce that right away by saying "good girl/boy", clapping, or whatever it is that you do. This is a massively important part of disciplining.
   
7. As always, distraction is the best way to move forward! Never underestimate the power of crazy faces, weird noises and ice cubes.
   

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: Troubleshooting Baby Eczema

I was sort of in denial that my adorable little shnookums had baby skin issues. As she grew from the newborn stage into infancy and was coordinated enough to actually itch, it became much harder to ignore. Her skin was red and bumpy on her cheeks and by her elbow and knee joints. All signs pointed to baby eczema.

Over the course of a few months, with our doctor’s recommendation, we tried Aveeno Baby’s Soothing Relief Moisture Cream (recommended for eczema) and Aquaphor Healing Ointment and stopped with the bubbles and scented soap in the tub, replaced it with Aquaphor Gentle Baby Wash and ensured my husband stopped slathering her with the classic Johnson’s Baby Oil every night. Great suggestions, but nothing was working for her.

Finally when she was about 7 months, we brought our RJ in to the doctor to resolve the problem. He gave her a prescription for steroids, which was a scary way of saying low percentage cortisone cream. After a few days of usage on her trouble-spots, her skin was in the clear!

What we were left with was a WAY less fussy baby! Turns our all that itching was the cause of lots of irritability. Still, the problem was not completely gone; she’ll get outbreaks if she’s sweaty and sometimes if we introduce new foods, which I hear is common.

Since I love skincare products that smell good, I had to figure out something that would work for her sensitive baby skin that had a nice fresh baby-friendly scent. We've successfully reintroduced the Aveeno Baby lotion and for bath time we swear by the Oatmeal Ginger Almond soap bar found at Trader Joe’s. It smells delicious and the all-natural ingredients do wonders for her skin (and mine too -- I use it on my face!)

Delicious soap bar from Trader Joe's

Finally, I've got a child with that baby soft skin we all love thanks to lots of experimentation and finally listening to her doctor. Now let's just hope she doesn't inherit mommy's teenage and apparently adult pimple issues!


The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog: As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: Be a Sane + Pleasant Career Mama

Being a mom with a career can be challenging. It's still pretty recent in our history as females that moms and careers have mixed at all. I find myself pondering how to best balance motherhood and my career--both for women in general and for me personally.

The answer I've found is actually pretty simple: what makes mommy sane and pleasant? And then you get major extra points for loving what you do.

Point is, there isn't any particular type of career that is the definitive answer to this dilemma. It's all about undertaking the self-exploration necessary to find a career path that leaves you in a focused, positive, loving frame of mind when you are hanging out with your children.

That could mean anything from a fabulously stable 9-5 at a great company, to owning your own successful line of cosmetics. Again, what drives the outcome is working yourself into a spot that creates a sane and pleasant vibe within you, so you can pass that along to your child.

I am bringing this topic up because for me, sane and pleasant means doing several different projects at once as a 'free agent'. I've always been a bit of a free spirit and a wild child, big out of box thinker and major communicator. Finding the right fit has meant saying bye-bye to the 9-5 (scary!) and sticking my neck out and trying to make it work as a free agent right now and probably later as a business owner if I have my way.

But lately some of the free agent biz hasn't come through as I'd hoped and I have an amazing 9-5 opportunity staring me in the face. I felt pressured to just get back into the grind to bring in a stable check for my fam. I thought about it throughout the entire Labor Day long weekend, but the idea of going back to what I left literally made my stomach turn. I bounced thoughts off myself, my family, my friends and my notebook and decided that since a 9-5 makes me an angry, stressed out, caged feeling woman, I am going to pass in order to stay sane and pleasant for myself and for my little Regina Jade, even if that means a less stable income and lots of unknowns.

Almost every mother I talk to deals with trying to find this balance and you have my support! Best of luck to you all in finding this place for yourself and your family. If you need a sounding board, I'm always here.

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: Product Review - "Baby Einstein" DVD Series

Although I'm not a big TV fan, there are some shows that really do an especially good job connecting with young children. And let's be honest here, sometimes mommy needs a break from being the main source of entertainment in the room.

I'm sure we probably all remember watching the highly educational classic, "Seseme Street". Then there's all the kiddie programming on cable geared more toward pre-school age learning. And let's not forget the astounding educational DVD series "Your Baby Can Read" where 9-18mo old babies can learn to read (I'm not a fan of this concept at all). However, today I want to talk about why the "Baby Einstein" DVD series is quality baby viewing.

"Baby Einstein" (here's a clip) was created a decade ago by a mother who wanted more exploration-based programming for her baby. The series strikes the perfect balance between play and education. It's like "Seseme Street" for babies, hitting right at their development level. Each episode features a mix of puppets doing various things in different settings, real world scenery and situations, narration and various characters demonstrating first-words while those words are flashed on the screen. For example, they will show a child playing with a ball, an illustration of a ball and the word ball underneath as the narrator says "ball".

My baby Regina Jade watching
"Baby Einstein" at 3mo old

For babies in their infant years, "Baby Einstein" and all of it's cute, silly sounds will perk their ears and likely encourage those first few smiles and giggles. As your baby grows into the early toddler years, they are see things they recognize on the show (situations, objects, familiar toys, animals, etc) and hearing words they know or want to know. My 13.5mo old plays along with the show, repeating words or naming things before the narrator does. She seems to enjoy practicing her new skills via "Baby Einstein", which I love.

Our favorite episodes are "My First Signs" which is the cause of Regina Jade knowing the signs for "play", "cup" and "table", and the Shakespeare poetry edition because it's just beautiful to hear. Generally, "Baby Einstein" presents a global view of different places, people and things.

In addition to the educational qualities of this series, most parents enjoy watching. The sounds are cute instead of annoying. The narration is soothing instead of annoying. And the characters are quirky instead of annoying. I'll choose this any time over "Micky Mouse Club House", and it's the only show our RJ actually pays attention to and interacts with. When the DVD intro begins she squeals, claps and gets in position to laugh and learn.

Screen-shot from episode "My First Signs"

Note: "Baby Einstein" is meant to be watched with your child as an opportunity for entertainment, learning and bonding. However, pediatricians don't recommend any television for babies under 2yrs old.

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: Confession Challenge Results

Me and RJ in the morning the other day;
Disconnected from my phone and connected to our moment

I promise this will be the last post in awhile about my personal motherhood experience, but I wanted to follow up on my recent post. Last week, I confessed that I worked with my 13mo old child around far too much and challenged myself to not work around her for one week. The results are in!

The Results:
I stayed true to my commitment 80% of the time. For the most part, I left the iPhone in another room or in the diaper bag while I spent time with Regina Jade -- out of sight and out of mind! I also started waking up about an hour before she does to read and reply to urgent emails or writing (like I'm doing right now).

Yesterday morning, I did have to transfer photos and video from my phone for a client, which was still pretty minor compared to writing articles and sending emails in her presence.

The good thing is, I missed absolutely nothing by waiting until she was down for her nap to work. I also felt much more present in general, which was my goal.

The Conclusion:
With the exception of deadlines that are in the red zone, or "fires" that need to be put out, working with your child around is a lot like checking emails in real-time; you feel like you are getting ahead, but you're really not.

I've also realized that because I work from home right now and full-time daycare isn't in the budget yet, there are going to be times when balancing work and baby will be very hard. I've concluded that this doesn't make me a bad mother and every family has their challenges they get through together.

Much of what I learned from this experience is to let go of trying to be the "perfect mama" because I'm exactly what she needs just the way I naturally am (minus the iPhone4 screen stuck to my pointer-finger). I think as moms, we always want to do better, which is a good thing, but we also need to feel strong and confident that if our child is thriving and smiles often, we are already doing a great job.

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: Confession Time!

Evidence of me trying to mix computers and parenting -- no one looks happy.

Well first of all, we all know that the term "good parenting" is highly subjective. But for the sake of this conversation, our operational definition of "good parenting" is being present when with your child, meeting their needs in a way that maintains their trust, teaching what to do and what not to do, playing and stimulating.

I'm bringing this topic up because it's something I struggle with myself due to my professional lifestyle and I have a feeling other LL moms may be able to relate. Sometimes it feels like the work never ends, and sometimes it literally doesn't. Even when I'm "not working", my phone is still attached to my hand as I try to reply to an email in the 40-seconds I have while my 13mo old is distracted.

But there's more. I work from home with self-made flexible hours and when the work I'm doing isn't as demanding, I'll chill with my laptop and the baby to get more interaction time while she's in the care of someone else (my husband's for example). Or I'll be forced to work while she's in my care because I have a deadline to meet -- like right now.

In both scenarios, the laptop comes between myself and my child. And my child wants to come between me and my laptop, which I know is true because she often sits right between me and it. I have to tell her to stop banging the keys or trying to close the laptop. Then I stop and think to myself, what am I doing? She doesn't understand, and all she's picking up on is that mommy is too distracted to give her full attention to her baby girl. Not good.

With the persistent evolution of computers into all areas of our lives...not only do most households have laptops, but most parents have Smart Phones, and now we have the iPad to make it even easier to be online while lounging -- which to work-a-holic professionals means more ways to incorporate more work into our lives.

So I guess this is a confession of sorts, and a call for improvement from myself and any other mom out there who feels they need to do better in this area. I'm going to vow from this post on to put down my phone and laptop every single time I'm with my child for one week and give my precious child the 100% she deserves. I'll check back in and let you know how it goes (I'll include a Note at the end of my next post).

If anyone else wants to discuss this or join me in this challenge, hit me up or comment!

Disclaimer: 98% of the time I rock as a mom, but the 2% I spend trying to mix work and parenting bothers me. Self-improvement here we come!

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: Behind the Mama - Part 1: Melody Gross

The inspiration for the "Truth Behind the Mama" series
was this hard-hitting "Dear Carolyn" from the Washington Post

Although many mothers best describe their role and day-to-day as "indescribable", Ladies Lotto Modern Mamahood (LLMM) is seeking to demystify what that means for different moms in an effort to create even more cohesion, compassion and connection within our LL community and beyond.

The Modern Mamahood "Truth Behind the Mama" series will delve into the lives of our LL moms. We're looking for answers to some of the questions many women without children seem to ponder. I know I did. Check out the article above for the conversation that sparked this series.

First up is our very own Melody Gross, mother of her son, 22-month old Kamel and full-time Communications + Marketing Associate.

When you are with your child, what exactly is it that you're doing that takes up so much time?
When I am with my son I am often meeting his every need. Whether that's conversation (he is at the "why" stage), emotional, physical (he loves the park) or educational. I'm also trying to squeeze in laundry and food shopping. Kamel has braids so I somehow have to find time to do his hair. Really contemplating a hair cut, but I love his hair. Kamel is a ball of energy so I often have to keep my eyes on him at all times. I try to take him to new places every week so he can experience different things. He also likes going to the movies so that takes up two hours right there. When you have kids you find yourself on the guest list for every family event possible and with it being the summer time you could go to four events in a weekend. Sundays are family day so he spends undivided attention with his dad and I.

Why do you always talk about your kids?
Why do people often talk about the things they love whether their job, a book their reading, a relationship, a movie they saw? Its a natural thing to want to talk about the love of your life. Especially when they are so young and they are changing and developing so rapidly. I try to keep it short and sweet when asked about my son because I know most times people are asking to be polite not because they really want all the details. My response: "oh he's good asking me a thousand questions and wrecking shop."

Ladies Lotto's Melody Gross with her son Kamel

Why is it so hard to make time to hang out with your friends?
I would love to hang out more often. However, any mom who has a child under 3yrs will find it even harder to hang with friends that don't have children. Most people don't want to watch a kid that is not potty trained, diapers freak them out. Its even hard to hang out with friends who have kids. A lot of planning has to be done. Its not often when I can be spontaneous.

Have you ever used your child as an excuse to get out of something socially or for work?
I've used my kid for work. If I use him as an excuse to get out of something socially it really isn't an excuse. Its the truth.

In what ways does having a child change and limit your flexibility when it comes to your work or social life?
I would love to work more but since my son is still rather young I don't want to be away from him too much. Having a child greatly limits my flexibility with everything. Prior to having Kamel I could come and go as a please. Just leave and stay as long as I want. Now, everything I do revolves around him. Whether small or large, every decision I make I think affects my son. Its definitely a task trying to create a balance but one thing or the other will feel neglected, usually the mommy.

How can you best describe what being a mom is like?
Being a mom is exciting, scary, fantastic, heart-wrenching, exhausting, loving, emotional and overall indescribable. I always feel like I can do more and be a better mom. Someone once said to me: we don't teach children, they teach us. I could not agree more. Kamel has taught me so much about being a mom, woman, co-worker, daughter, niece, sister, cousin, granddaughter, girlfriend and friend. The love for and from a child is irreplaceable.

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: Using Cloth Diapers - Real Mama Q&A

I wanted to cloth-diaper my daughter, I really did. The intention was there, the follow through was not. And I'm not even going to bother with my list of excuses. Because cloth-diapering is so awesome on so many different levels, I have invoked one of my besties, Carlene Fort of Los Angeles, CA to give the L-Ladies the 411 in my place. Carlene's son is now almost 7-months old, she works full-time, she's in school, and she researches like no other -- always finds the best deals and methods.

Why did you first want to try cloth diapers?
Well at first, I thought eww how gross and way too time consuming, then did some serious research and saw how much better they are for the baby, environment and my pocket and was hooked instantly!

How did you learn about options and how it all works?
Two words...Intensive Research! Kellysdiapers.com and allaboutclothdiapers.com were particularly helpful. l spent probably a full two weeks learning everything about cloth diapers before deciding it was for me then spent another two weeks reviewing all the brands and diapering options. There are countless ways to cloth-diaper that range in price and application.

LLMM: What kind of diapers and equipment do you use?
I had two things in mind when I started my stash. I wanted to have diapers that I did not have to upgrade to larger sizes throughout my baby's diapering lifetime. I also wanted to make sure they were easy to use. I use Softbums, Growbabies and Bum Genius Organic diapers. The Bum Genius are my favorite because they are the easiest to use! I do the dry pail method which means I did not soak my diapers. Most blogs and articles I read came to the conclusion that the wet pail was a waste of time but some mommy's swear by it. Then we do laundry every 2 days.

The process of using cloth, washing, etc seems time consuming, and you are a working mom going to school -- is it?
As far as using the diapers, you just put them on which is simple, and then take them off and toss into the diaper pail or bag. For daycare or sitters, we give a 5-minute tutorial of how to change our son and we haven't heard any complaints. As far as prep -- it's all about "batch processing". I wash the diapers while I do other things. For example, if it is wash day I will put in a load when I start dinner, then by the time dinner is done, I can put them on their second cycles. Then they dry while we eat and then as we watch TV, my husband and I will prep them (put in the inserts for daycare) and put them away.


Do you ever use disposables when traveling or for childcare/sitters?
There are times that we do use disposables if we are rushing or it is wash day and we ran out. But I have only bought 1 pack of disposable diapers since my baby has been born. Most moms use a travel bag when on the go. A travel bag is a waterproof bag that you keep in your diaper bag that is odor and water proof.

It seems expensive, but I know you are so budget-savvy -- is there a cost benefit?
Initially, you do have to plop down a chunk of change on the diapers. It is about $350 to get a great stash of about 12-15 diapers minimum. There's a lot of reselling and buying used going on in the world of cloth-diapers, which is helpful. And since we have a huge extended family, we were given a TON of disposable diapers at our baby showers!

Cloth-Diapering Tip for Newbies: Here is an awesome deal where you can try every kind of CD on the market for 21 days for only $10 through jilliansdrawers.com! You try them and see what you like then return them, if you love them you get a discount to keep them.

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

Modern Mamahood: Diaper Bag Essentials + Extras

Besides the obvious suspects (diapers, wipes, bottles, food), here are some items you may want to add to your most likely already too heavy and bulky diaper bag!

For the germ-cautious:

• Hand Sanitizer - A staple these days! But check out this baby-safe, non-toxic version by BabyGanics.
• Paci Protector - Where does the paci go when it's not in baby's mouth? Keep it clean(er) with this cute Pacifier Pocket from Skip Hop.

For the meal times:

• Placemat - We love ours from Target. This disposable placemat with cute characters sticks to the table, great for babies who are into finger foods but are too young for their own plate.
• Formula dispenser - For powder formula, use this dispenser to portion out bottles you can prepare on the go. Just add water! These can also double as snack-holders.

For the fussy times:

• Teething tablets - I wish I'd started using these when she was younger...these homeopathic teeny teething tablets by Hyland's can be found everywhere and work wonders.
• Baby Tylenol - Enough said! Since many stores still don't carry this brand after the big recall, use a generic for the same effect.

For the summer time:

• Swim Diapers - These are usually required at public and private pools and work great. Don't forget to pack extras like you would regular diapers.
• Sun Screen - Be prepared for any moment of fun in the sun by packing this skin staple for baby.

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:

As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry