Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Modern Mamahood: Behind the Mama - Part 1: Melody Gross

The inspiration for the "Truth Behind the Mama" series
was this hard-hitting "Dear Carolyn" from the Washington Post

Although many mothers best describe their role and day-to-day as "indescribable", Ladies Lotto Modern Mamahood (LLMM) is seeking to demystify what that means for different moms in an effort to create even more cohesion, compassion and connection within our LL community and beyond.

The Modern Mamahood "Truth Behind the Mama" series will delve into the lives of our LL moms. We're looking for answers to some of the questions many women without children seem to ponder. I know I did. Check out the article above for the conversation that sparked this series.

First up is our very own Melody Gross, mother of her son, 22-month old Kamel and full-time Communications + Marketing Associate.

When you are with your child, what exactly is it that you're doing that takes up so much time?
When I am with my son I am often meeting his every need. Whether that's conversation (he is at the "why" stage), emotional, physical (he loves the park) or educational. I'm also trying to squeeze in laundry and food shopping. Kamel has braids so I somehow have to find time to do his hair. Really contemplating a hair cut, but I love his hair. Kamel is a ball of energy so I often have to keep my eyes on him at all times. I try to take him to new places every week so he can experience different things. He also likes going to the movies so that takes up two hours right there. When you have kids you find yourself on the guest list for every family event possible and with it being the summer time you could go to four events in a weekend. Sundays are family day so he spends undivided attention with his dad and I.

Why do you always talk about your kids?
Why do people often talk about the things they love whether their job, a book their reading, a relationship, a movie they saw? Its a natural thing to want to talk about the love of your life. Especially when they are so young and they are changing and developing so rapidly. I try to keep it short and sweet when asked about my son because I know most times people are asking to be polite not because they really want all the details. My response: "oh he's good asking me a thousand questions and wrecking shop."

Ladies Lotto's Melody Gross with her son Kamel

Why is it so hard to make time to hang out with your friends?
I would love to hang out more often. However, any mom who has a child under 3yrs will find it even harder to hang with friends that don't have children. Most people don't want to watch a kid that is not potty trained, diapers freak them out. Its even hard to hang out with friends who have kids. A lot of planning has to be done. Its not often when I can be spontaneous.

Have you ever used your child as an excuse to get out of something socially or for work?
I've used my kid for work. If I use him as an excuse to get out of something socially it really isn't an excuse. Its the truth.

In what ways does having a child change and limit your flexibility when it comes to your work or social life?
I would love to work more but since my son is still rather young I don't want to be away from him too much. Having a child greatly limits my flexibility with everything. Prior to having Kamel I could come and go as a please. Just leave and stay as long as I want. Now, everything I do revolves around him. Whether small or large, every decision I make I think affects my son. Its definitely a task trying to create a balance but one thing or the other will feel neglected, usually the mommy.

How can you best describe what being a mom is like?
Being a mom is exciting, scary, fantastic, heart-wrenching, exhausting, loving, emotional and overall indescribable. I always feel like I can do more and be a better mom. Someone once said to me: we don't teach children, they teach us. I could not agree more. Kamel has taught me so much about being a mom, woman, co-worker, daughter, niece, sister, cousin, granddaughter, girlfriend and friend. The love for and from a child is irreplaceable.

The Modern Mamahood Column on the Ladies Lotto Blog:
As our Ladies Lotto community grows and evolves, we now have quite a few mamas and mamas-to-be! The LL Modern Mamahood weekly column presents the issues and products related to being a Ladies Lotto Mama. Blogger: Lana Perry

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